“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them – that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” – Lao Tzu

The final part of this series focuses on emotions. Most of us are so afraid of our emotions even though we shouldn’t be. There’s no such thing as a “bad” emotion. All emotions are simply signals telling us something needs to change. And we need to listen to these signals before the problems we have get worse. This is the message in Heart of the Soul (also available in South Africa). In it, Gary Zukav and Linda Francis promote three things:

Breathe

“What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself.” – Abraham H. Maslow

There are so many benefits of meditation. In addition to reduced anxiety and insomnia, it helps you keep cool in the midst of madness and is also great for resting before you get tired (as Dale Carnegie suggests). Ultimately, it’s about slowing down to connect with yourself and your feelings.

Meditating for half an hour every evening really has brought a sense of grounding to my life. If you can’t find the time (which simply means you need meditation more than ever), all it takes is a few minutes in silence or a nice hot bath. Just close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Be aware of the feelings you’re having and pay attention to where in your body those feelings are occurring. It’s the first step to building emotional intelligence.

Express

“The unexamined life is not worth living” – Socrates

Once you’ve gotten used to feeling what you’re feeling, the next step is to express. It’s about getting the issues off your chest so they don’t linger around and add to your woes. Other than having a solid support group, one of the best ways to do that is through a journal. I’ve been keeping one since I was fourteen and writing in it almost every day has been truly incredible.

This is about slowing down and connecting with your thoughts. It’s about listening to what that wise inner voice is telling you. Again, it doesn’t have to be complicated. Take a few minutes every day to jot down your thoughts, your dreams, or one thing you’re grateful for. Write about what’s happened lately and how it made you feel. Write about how you reacted to a problem and why you think you did what you did.

Information like that is priceless when it comes to figuring out what makes you tick. Looking at the events of your life from an objective standpoint really puts them in perspective. Sometimes you can’t help but laugh at all the molehills you turned into mountains. And going over some entries you wrote years ago reminds you how much you’re grown and how far you’ve come.

Relax

“Flow with whatever is happening and let your mind be free. Stay centred by accepting whatever you are doing. This is the ultimate.” – Chuang Tzu

Relaxing involves two things. It’s about doing one thing at a time and making sure you do it slowly. In a nutshell, relaxing is about focusing on the present. I can’t tell you how rewarding it is to be completely engaged in whatever it is you’re doing, from eating to reading to working out at the gym. There’s no greater feeling in life than being in that blissful state of flow.

Focusing on the present also ties into connecting with your feelings and thoughts. It’s about accepting all the curve balls life throws your way as an inevitable part of the experience. It’s about understanding that you can’t control everything. In fact, the only thing you can control is yourself and doing so requires letting your thoughts and feelings flow freely.

The first step is for us to receive them completely. We must detach so we feel our feelings without allowing them to completely sweep us up. Don’t resist your frustration or your anger because repression will only make it stronger. Instead, think of yourself as a conduit. Embrace it completely! Listen to what your body is trying to tell you and then start healing the pain. Don’t waste your time trying to rearrange the outside world when your inner world is where the real problem lies.

“Smile, breathe and go slowly.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

In closing, I’d like to offer an edited extract from the book:

“You must become aware of everything you are feeling all the time. Continuously scanning your energy system and the accompanying thoughts, moment by moment, is emotional awareness. Emotional awareness means relaxing into the present moment even when it contains painful emotions. Intimacy means trusting that the universe will provide what you need, when you need it, and in a manner most appropriate for you.”

(For more resources and tips, download your free copy of “Work in Progress” exclusively from www.varsityblah.com/about and check this out too)

“Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.” – Fletcher Knebel

Getting in shape can be quite tough. Firstly, there’s the issue of motivation. Even though being healthy is a matter of life and death, many of us still struggle to get over the hump. Secondly, there’s the issue of information. Even though we may mean well, it’s hard to know where to start when everyone is telling us different things. So, what works for you? How do you keep fit?

(For more resources and tips, download your free copy of “Work in Progress” exclusively from www.varsityblah.com/about)

“The greatest mistake a man can make is to sacrifice health for any other advantage” – Arthur Schopenhauer

I don’t know about you, but life can really be tough sometimes. Nowadays, we’re all plagued with a never-ending list of expectations. It’s no wonder stress levels are high, days drag on forever, and our quality of life seems to be in perpetual decline.

But all this can stop. And no, it doesn’t require a weekly trip to the spa (although every now and then wouldn’t hurt). The most comprehensive guide I’ve come across is The Everything Stress Management Book (also available in South Africa). In this post, I’ll share some tips to take the load off.

Get healthy

“If I’d known I was going to live so long, I’d have taken better care of myself.” – Leon Eldred

I know we’ve all heard it a thousand times before, but this is so important it needs repeating. We must stay active. A solid routine should involve regular endurance (cardio), flexibility (stretching), and strength (weights). You don’t need to fork out a fortune on health equipment or gym fees; a simple walk after lunch will do. In fact, by starting small and building up as time goes by, you’re more likely to stick to the plan than you are by trying to change completely overnight. It only takes three ten minute “sessions” a few days a week to start seeing the difference.

As far as good nutrition goes, cut back on the junk (including alcohol, cigarettes, and caffeine). Instead, snack on healthy alternatives like fruit, vegetables, berries, and nuts. And drink plenty of water. Again, this doesn’t have to be an insurmountable task. Start by having one glass of water as soon as you wake up. After a week, have one right before you go to bed too. It’s easy to change when you know how.

Get organised

“The key is not to prioritise what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.” – Stephen Covey

Another great way to eliminate stress is to eliminate the things that are stressing you out. It may sound pretty obvious, but a lot of people don’t realise how important this is. Cut back on all the “obligations” and things in your life you don’t need. Trust me, the world won’t end! After recently going without internet for ten days (I was on holiday in Egypt) I realised I don’t need to be trapped in my inbox. Once a week is more than enough!

Besides freeing your life of commitments and other clutter, you need to know what matters and know what doesn’t. My approach is quite simple. It’s about knowing what I absolutely have to do and what can either be postponed, delegated, or done away with altogether. It’s about knowing what to take seriously and what to let slide. It’s about taking care of the big things so the little ones take care of themselves and the really little ones don’t bother me at all.

Get perspective

“Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.” – Elbert Hubbard

Prevention is better than cure so deal with problems as they arise. Dale Carnegie talks about accepting the worst and improving from there. He also talks about defining the problem, getting the facts, weighing the facts, finding the causes, coming up with solutions, choosing the best, and taking concrete action that you’re prepared to stick to. That’s it.

Always remember the big picture. Most of what is bothering you right now won’t matter a year from now. So why not get over it in advance? And don’t sit around feeling sorry for yourself. Do what you can to make things better! Life’s too short to spend fussing over nothing. And life should never get in the way of living either!

(For more resources and tips, download your free copy of “Work in Progress” exclusively from www.varsityblah.com/about)