Slap in the Face
“That which has always been accepted by everyone, everywhere, is almost certain to be false.” – Paul Valery
Facebook is everywhere. You’d have to be a cryogenically frozen amoeba living under a rock on Mars not to have heard of it. So, what’s the big deal? Does Facebook really deserve to be hailed as the greatest product of Web 2.0 or is it only a matter of time before all the hoopla becomes a thing of the past?
Many joined Facebook hoping it would bring them closer to the people in their lives, especially those they hadn’t seen since the good old days of school. But then the reality set in. For some, getting in touch with said blasts from the past made them realise why they weren’t that chummy to begin with. For others, it’s now gotten to the point where they’re dealing with an actual Facebook addiction; staying up into the wee hours of the morning, showing up late for work, and messaging colleagues in adjacent cubicles (assuming access hasn’t been entirely blocked).
I received many requests to join Facebook, some from people I’d only ever said “hi” to once or twice. That didn’t make much sense. Why was I being hassled by people I either saw in class everyday or who weren’t even that fond of me in the first place? Why could they not take the hint (i.e. my express “no thanks”) and move on? And why couldn’t anyone come up with a valid reason that didn’t involve some degree of peer pressure? This definitely went beyond the desire to get a little closer.
The social networking craze seems to be more about reaffirming ourselves than about connecting with other people. Our entire sense of self is now based on how many “friends” we have on our profiles. Whether or not we know (or like) these people in the real world doesn’t matter. As long as we can claim to be popular, that’s all that matters. As long as we’re connected, we exist. The world will have no choice but to acknowledge that.
To those of who are happy with Facebook, what I have to say shouldn’t bother you. If it does, maybe that’s something you need to think about. In any case, all I can do is offer some advice. Be reasonable about how much you share online because the last thing you want is to have your identity stolen (or wind up being stalked). And now that companies are using Facebook to investigate prospective employees, a little common sense (and possible censorship) will come in handy.
To those of you have managed to stay strong up to now, congratulations are in order. Your willpower is admirable! Technology may profess to be bringing us closer together, but all it seems to be doing (other than creating an entire generation who can’t spell) is moving us further apart. We’re forgetting what it’s like to interact with each other on an organic level. Nowadays, it’s damn near impossible to have a conversation without whoever you’re trying to talk to keeping at least one earphone still plugged in and/or constantly reaching for their phone. What ever happened to undivided attention and good old-fashioned eye contact?
Fact is, you really don’t need a website to stay in touch with your family and friends. Why not write them an actual letter, give them an actual phone call, or (insert gasp here) meet them in person? We’re not meant to spend our lives sitting in front of computer screens, thinking we’re connecting with others when we’re not. We’re meant to be out living our lives. Even though the online experience may seem real, it can never come close to the interactions in the flesh. So, what are you waiting for?
(Eugene Yiga is the editor of Varsity Blah and his latest book is available free, exclusive from www.varsityblah.com/about)
Posted in Education / Career, Culture / Lifestyle, Internet / Technology |
October 2nd, 2007 at 16:39
Mr Yiga!
I must say I am impressed with the blog site you’ve produced here. Your viewpoints, although somewhat controversial, are viewed very clearly and it’s refreshing to read the work of someone who transfers their views so effectively.
I find your comments about the facebook social utility to be quite sweeping. Especially for someone who boycotts the site. I don’t think the idea behind facebooking was to generate a pool of soulmates spanning across the years of your existence. At least it’s not this for me and many I know. The idea is merely to make the social connections with people of your choice in an arena that many find convenient and comfortable these days. I do believe that old fashioned ‘legitimate’ human interaction cannot be substituted but I don’t think that’s what facebook does. Any people who’ve converted all their actual so-called legitimate relationships into purely facebook relationships will feel the loss of substance very very quickly and revert. I think the idea is more that it complements your current social setting than completely defines it. I get what you mean in many ways but, in the light that digital, on-line communication is the very platform with which you make your personal connections with this blogging site, maybe a tad less cynicism is required…
October 11th, 2007 at 18:20
I agree with your perceptions about the loss of human contact when using social networks, the lack of depth in the interactions, and the multitude of unusual and unexpected requests to be someone’s online friend. But I also agree with the first comment which identifies the irony of being so cynical about online communication when you use the same medium for airing your opinions. Why not use all the tools available, electronic or otherwise, to ensure that your relationships are maintained and developed? Surely every step away from actually meeting your friend in person reduces the legitimacy of your interaction? Yet you draw the line at facebook and not at letter writing or a phone call. Each individual needs to decide on their own personal and arbitrary line, but while technology progresses and the nature of relationships change it might be you who is left behind and you who loses the connections you so obviously desire.
October 15th, 2007 at 19:07
I definitely agree that we should all use both online and offline methods to connect with other people. But I really don’t think using a blog and using Facebook is the same thing. The first seems to be more about self-expression and standing out whereas the second seems to be more about self-affirmation and fitting in. I use the blog as I way to let other people know what’s on my mind. Basically, it’s my way of connecting with people I don’t already know. Facebook is great for that. I just don’t see the point of using Facebook as a way to connect with people you already know in the “real world” and see all the time. If you happen to live in different countries, then it probably comes in handy. The letter writing and phone calls were just suggestions and obviously everyone needs to decide what works best for them. Somehow getting “left behind” for choosing to interact differently seems like a bit of a stretch. Methods of connecting may change but I don’t think the innate “primitiveness” of relationships will.
March 19th, 2011 at 08:46
[…] Go without any technology for a whole day. For one day a week (or half a day to start), completely disconnect. That means no internet, no phone, and no TV. Absolutely nothing. The mere thought of something this drastic (I heard those gasps) probably makes a lot of us uncomfortable. But nobody said it would be easy. The goal is to confront the emotions and ride out the urges. Set up an automatic reply for emails (perhaps direct them to a page of FAQs) so people know you’re not available and make a note of the messages or calls you’ll get to later. Whatever happens, DO NOT buckle and do them now! Find healthy habits instead. Read actual books, work on things that matter, or get outside and deal with people in the real world. […]
April 30th, 2011 at 10:51
[…] the single most important value in my life (and one I’ve been pretty vocal about in my writing on Facebook, the iPhone, and even birthdays). Ultimately, the book is meant as a short introduction to Reclaim […]